Addiction recovery isn’t easy for anyone. It includes walls and setbacks, difficult self-examination, apologies and reconciliations. And when stress, boredom, and frustration set in, there’s always the little voice at the back of our heads, calling us to find relief in our addiction.
All of these challenges can be even harder when you’re a parent, and especially when you’re a mother.
Health Challenges
Motherhood comes with a range of health challenges. Some of these are closely related to the actual biology of motherhood itself: pregnancy. Sometimes our “moment of clarity,” or the extra push that compels us to seek out recovery, is spurred by learning that we’re going to start a family. If you’re going through addiction recovery and detox while you’re pregnant, there are additional health measures that you’ll need to take in order to protect your health, and that of your baby.
Parenting Challenges
Mommy blogs and commercials make us feel like motherhood should be a misty, blissful dream. The truth is usually much messier. Motherhood is stressful and exhausting. The challenges that children bring are unrelenting. However, as a parent, we’re also likely to value ourselves based on our success (or perceived lack of success) as parents. Disappointments and discouragements that we experience as parents can be more dramatic and powerful than any emotion we’ve ever felt before, which can often make us want to dull the pain and drown the sorrow.
In addition to the physical process of pregnancy, motherhood can add additional mental health challenges that we wouldn’t have otherwise. From postpartum depression to the overwhelming stress that some mothers experience, motherhood can stack on challenges for the recovering parent that others can’t understand.
Guilt
It’s common for guilt to follow close on the heels of parental disappointment. It can turn into a shame-spiral if one relapses as a parent. After all, shouldn’t motherhood be the answer to all your problems? Shouldn’t the need to care for your children and be present for them be enough to keep you easily clean and sober for the rest of your life?
Of course not. Motherhood and sobriety are very similar. They both come with good days, and awful ones, with little moments of joy sprinkled in-between. For both, understanding and support can help sustain you and get you through.
Remember to Take Care of Yourself, Too
Are you a mother struggling with addiction? It’s more common than you probably think. It can be hard to convince yourself to take time away from home, and do what you need to recover. However, it’s important to remember that you can only give your children the best care if you first take care of yourself so that you’re firing on all cylinders and able to be there for what they need.